Friday, August 19, 2011
I’ve been in the dumps for a week now, mainly because of the poor, unacceptable way my midterm week went, plus the irritable noise in our house, and the endless inconsideration of some people around me. Thankfully, there has been a whole stack of chocolates in our house, courtesy of my Papa. Whenever things get hard, I can always count on chocolates to at least lighten my head. Now I’m currently munching this whole Lindtt Intense Orange Dark Chocolate Bar whole, all by myself with the hopes of distracting myself even for just some time.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Well, at first, this blog name really didn’t have any real significance to me. The thought just came in back when I was still sooo in-love with Sarah Bereilles’ Between the Lines (I still am J). The song was about loving someone who doesn’t love you back... and never knowing your place in that someone’s life, thus the title. And while the person she loves is saying ‘Wait for me I’m almost ready...’, he just really meant ‘Let go.’. (That was one of my favourite parts in that song actually.) I was really captivated with that song, but as time goes by, I interpreted that phrase in a different way.
That feeling of saying things but there’s a real and different meaning behind it – and the one you’re saying it to interprets it otherwise. I think I’m one of those kinds of person, actually (especially in serious situations.) I always find it hard to say things that I want in person. This is actually one of the reasons why I maintain a blog. I can only express what I wholly feel when I’m with my closest friends (which, btw, are only few... haha, I know, poor me.), and, obviously, when I’m with myself J.
Expressing the things in between those lines: the good and the bad; the tears and the laughters -- the two extremes of life. Between those extremes are experiences, and behind every experience is a story. To see things beyond what it appears to be and to see the real meaning of them in your life – that’s what’s ‘between the lines’ is all about. I hope to achieve it by writing about myself, my experiences, and the lessons that I learned from them -- exposing it to others and digging deeper into myself at the same time. I hope for this blog to be a platform of expression, and a way to discover and know myself more. And as you read on, and settle to follow this despite of its many imperfections, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Midterm season is here – ‘hell week’ as we, college students, termed it. Since I’m a certified ‘night’ person, I really find it easier to study at night. And while some of my roommates are sleeping their heads off, I always find myself still up, wide-eyed almost, and trying to keep busy with my books and handouts in the middle of the night (or dawn, if you may :P ). I once tried drinking a bottle of energy drink out of desperation to not fall asleep in the middle of one of my late night readings, and I really regretted that. My heart palpitated like crazy, and I seriously thought I was going to die then – so I promised myself not to ever do that again. So that leaves me with no other choice (and it’s a choice I’ve always loved). Of course, this was pretty much out of question – COFFEE.
I’m a very avid coffee-drinker, ever since. Sometimes I wonder when a person could have enough. I know that all things are bad when they’re too much, so I really am trying my best to search for some variety. But of course, a cup of coffee is not always available and besides, nothing beats a favourite. So here are some of my coffee/coffee-alternative fixes:
1. Brewers Pocket Perks
For those who are an avid coffee fan and a candy lover, this one’s for you. Delight wrapped up in one small pack – Brewers Pocket Perks is one of my favourite buys. I first found this when I was at 7’11 looking for something to eat, and it showed itself at the counter. Each pack comes with 6 soft coffee candies, flavoured differently – (from L to R) Cappuccino, Espresso, and Latte. This can definitely give you an instant buzz whenever you need one. “A quick Cappuccino for that Lazy Sunday Morning; Coffee break after 3 PM? It’s never too Latte; [And] Espresso for crazy late night at work or with your friends.” This is definitely as must buy (for me, teehee), and at a very affordable price that is: 12 php! J
2. Kopiko Candies
The original coffee candy – Kopiko. Out of all coffee candies I’ve tried, it is one the most effective and closest to a real cup of coffee when it comes to giving a buzz (Ok, XO at least stood a chance). If you can’t find a Brewer’s Pocket Perks (like above) at the nearest 7’11 store, you could always settle for something much cheaper but can also give you an instant ‘coffee-like experience’. I recently tried the new Cappuccino-flavoured Kopiko candies, and it’s nice. But if you want something much stronger, do settle for Kopiko original blend (yeah, the black one).
3. Nescafé Esspresso Roast
When it comes to instant coffee products, of course, nothing ever beats Nescafé (at least, here in the Philippines). I was always used to drinking the brand’s ready-to-drink coffee latte. But the cost of a can is really outside my meal budget so I always find it hard to decide whether to buy or not no matter how I love to drink it. Recently, Nescafé has released a new blend of ready-to-drink cold coffee: Espresso Roast. This is one strong coffee I tell you, and it comes in a new affordable size and price: 180 mL at 15php! Whenever I need to study for an exam, I always buy this one because it never fails to serve its purpose, plus I didn’t get that abnormal feeling I had back when I drink a bottle of energy drink. This is one great can of satisfaction, and it tastes good too. J
I could’ve entered Nescafé’s line of instant 3-in-1 coffee mixes (in which the Brown and Creamy blend is my favourite) but it’s already a given. Enjoy drinking/sipping (or whatever) your coffee, Coffee lovers. J
To tell you honestly, Accounting is not really my first choice. It has never been. I can still recall my silly childhood. My father was an engineer, so as a little girl, I grew up surrounded by scattered markers, highlighter, sign pens, pencils, and coloring materials. Even then, I loved to draw. So when I was first asked what I wanted to be, my first real answer was to be a fashion designer. Haha. I know – it’s silly. Those memories still haven’t failed to make me smile every now and then. Actually, almost more than half of my life being a student, I’ve never really given much thought as to what I wanna be. But then high school came. I unexpectedly entered into a Special Science Curriculum and it has given me so many opportunities to discover myself, my interest, and what I really want to do in life. We had Research classes and the instant we tried to make a paper; I knew what I really want out of my academic life. I don’t know what’s with me – but I really loved that feeling. It’s something that I always wanna feel. That feeling when you’re in front of the panel defending your study, they’re asking questions, and you know how and what to answer all of them. It has become an obsession. I started competing inside the school first, then outside. Maybe my attachment with my then-research teacher somehow boosted my ego too. Since I’m always on fire whenever we’re on a panel defense, I began to study public speaking. I bought a book, and my father saw it, and he suggested I take Political Science. Things were going smoothly at first, I have my focus on that goal... and then it went downhill from there. A failure at the university I was sooo looking forward to study in, plus a broken relationship... things happened and I just found myself taking up the entrance exam in my current school with Accountancy as my first choice.
At first, I was really doubtful on where this is all going. I got my first full scholarship in my first semester but I know I haven’t been really working wholeheartedly on it. That semester just passed like a blur. I’m adjusting myself in the whole new world that is College, plus the fact that I’m getting over my first break-up alone with no friends to really talk about it too. Things have piled up unexpectedly, and I just concentrated in my study to somehow brush off all of this thoughts. I started taking up major subjects in the next semester, and I started to feel the pressure of my course. I guess I just got too attached with my friends back then that I don’t want to be away from them because of the stupid fact that I don’t really like my course that much... so I strived harder. But as time goes by, it’s not just about the thought of being separated with my friends that’s driving me to push through anymore, but I think part of me is starting to feel that it’s also necessary for myself. It’s somehow strange but the harder things get, the more you want to strive for it. I don’t know, but based on my experience, I think I’m the kind of person who gets more determined to go on when things gets tougher.
When the review season of our batch’s Qualifying exam came, I was surprised at the realization of how I became attached to this course. I found myself crying while reviewing when I feel that there’s no chance of passing, but as I feel these things, I started to work harder and harder. It came to a point that whatever I’m doing, I find myself searching for my books. When I woke up, the first thing I’m searching are my books, contrary to what I’m always doing: opening the computer or searching for my cell phone. I almost broke my communication with the outside world for almost 2 months just to review, review, and review.
One of the few things that I cherish in life.
I always look at it whenever things get hard, and it always make me smile and remember why I’m still holding on in the first place.
Surprisingly, the exam just passed by. And eventually, I passed it and went on 8th place. I actually can’t recall a much happier moment in my life. It’s like winning in the lottery -- like it’s everything you’ve wanted all your life, and then it suddenly happened. I know I’m exaggerating when I put it like that, but nothing compares to the feeling when you accomplished something all by yourself when you work really hard for it. It’s like every little frustrations in life was gone, it was like everything went finally perfect in life. It’s even a greater, much happier feeling when I got my first boyfriend. Haha.
“At that age, it’s more delightful and fulfilling to finish a degree than to fall in love.”– Ma’am Rowie Cariaga (My high school Math teacherJ)
I’m on my fourth year now, with 1 more year to endure before I take the board exam. It’s hard, but I’m still striving to keep up. I know what I wanted to do – graduate in the university (with flying colors if God permits it), pass the board exam, be a CPA, and go to Law school if I can, or be a Researcher. I already set up my goal. This way, I’ll keep my eyes on my dreams.
I know this post is getting really, really long but my point is people should not point out their dislike for something as the reason why they fail. When you fail at something, you have no one to blame but yourself. It’s not about the fondness you have in something that lets you succeed. It’s striving to do good even if you don’t like what you’re doing. To do what you can, your best –being committed -- in everything you do. Life is imperfect; it does not give us everything we want to have. Things don’t always go the way we want them to be. You must enjoy the things you like, but find a way to finish things that you find challenging even if it’s hard. I’m not an authority here, but I believe that if you would keep that kind of attitude, you would eventually succeed. Be motivated. Persevere. Be determined. No matter how many obstacles come in the way, you must overcome them to achieve your goal. Then, and only then, could you claim true success.
I admit. Strange as it may be, but I’m a sucker for tragic love stories. I’m not the typical girl who would go gaga for every fairytale-like love story she would encounter. Of course having a ‘happy-ever-after’ ending is fine, but nothing draws out people’s emotions like sad endings and pain. For me, crying is the most genuine way of exposing your feelings – it’s always unanticipated (I’m talking about the genuine ‘crying-your-eyes-out’ situations here), you never know it will happen until you get there. People showcase real emotion whenever it’s uncontrollable. Whether it’s crying because of joy, celebration, or fulfillment; or crying because of loneliness, hurt, or pain; or even crying for the wrong reasons. I believe that when you cry, you’re exposing a part of yourself that you won’t normally let anyone see. Whenever things that I watch bring out this kind of feeling, I really admire it. When people cry, they’re at their most human. When people cry, you know that things get flawed. I admire stories that expose the cold truth that things can’t always go the way we want them to. But at the end of the day, when people cry, there’s this realization that no matter how imperfect the world may be, you still want to live in it, and you still want to experience things no matter how much it pains you because it makes you happy. That’s courage for me: the ability to accept life’s flaws and imperfections, accepting that pain is inevitable. That no matter how hard, you can live with it. No matter how much it hurts, you still want it. J
Thursday, August 11, 2011
To describe my week is like keeping everyone bored. It's pretty much the normal cycle. Books, studying, staying up late, watching dramas and animes everytime I know I have no time for it -- the usual stress, the usual stuffs. I'm not really exaggerating when I said that it appears to me that my life is only revolving in going to school, and in my college dormitory (which happened to be also inside the campus).Luckily, my fiction books kept me distracted.Which is why I find this to be sort of an interesting experience. I happened to be taking up Mandarin classes at our University this semester, and so far, it has been one of the few things that eases my stressful times as a student. This is a rather exciting subject, I can say. And recently, we've been learning how to count in Mandarin, which was a lot of fun, really. There's this one activity that my professor suggested in order for us to master counting. And guess what,it's BINGO.
|Here's my card. Not very far from victory, eh? :P|
We used the normal cards. The same rules -- this time we have something called 'blockout' (I only play bingo in my computer :P ). But we got to announce the number in Mandarin, while your partner writes the said numbers in hanzi or chinese characters. That was pretty enjoying I must say... some of my classmates doesn't even know they've already bingo-ed because it's hard listening and processing it at the same time. The game ended up with almost 10 players getting it at the same time. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them. But it's alright. It's the fun that matters after all.
And, also, our organization has been very busy because of the upcoming Regional General Assembly that'll be held at Lipa City Colleges in Lipa City, Batangas. It's on Sunday, so we've been keeping ourselves busy gathering up our members for the past week.
Last year's assembly was pretty fun, plus the experiences that I've gained which I never would have imagined I'll have. I hope this time it would be equally satisfying too. See you there if you're a fellow JPIAN from Region 4. But if not, thanks for reading this post.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
August 6, 2011 marks the birth of this blog. I was inspired by Ate Eunice of Laces and Tiaras, so I decided to start anew with Blogger.
Much of the introduction has already been mentioned in my sidebar. I’m pretty lame at describing myself, but I’m trying my best here, so here are 20 fast facts about me:
This is me, btw.
Much of the introduction has already been mentioned in my sidebar. I’m pretty lame at describing myself, but I’m trying my best here, so here are 20 fast facts about me:
- I’m moody. Totally. One moment I’m happy, the next, I’m not.
- I generally love music, but I’m really into acoustic renditions and jazzy-feel songs.
- I like to write. Besides from the occasional stroke of my hand to express my thoughts, I LOVE to write (literally). I basically spent a day writing nonsense.
- I love red! But then there's brown, black, gold.... the list goes on. Autumn palette, mostly
- I frequently experience what they call ‘writer’s block’. Not that I’m an expert in writing, I just forget what I want to say, or in other words, can’t express it.
- I was born at Rizal Day, 19 years ago -- thus, my name. :))
- My existence outside my academic life (since it’s pretty demanding) mainly revolves around my house, my college dormitory, and the internet of course.
- I can't get enough of 500 Days of Summer.Up until now, I pretty much believe it's my favorite movie.
- Books. Yeah, I love to buy books. And of course, I also love to read them. But I find walking into a bookstore and choosing and scanning books very fascinating. Ah, the scent of the bookstore - the new, and old books alike - is heaven.
- I haven’t thought about it actually until now. Well, I pretty much love to eat.
- I love chocolates. As in. It is the stimulant that lights up my gloomy moments.
- I love to watch movies. Especially movies that are recommended to me. (This applies to books as well.)
- Since I was in high school, I’ve been trying real hard to maintain a cool blog. But I’m not a cool writer, so I failed obviously. I’ve made what must have been almost 7 blogs. And of course, only one still stands. Plus this. And my Tumblr account. So 3? :3
- I ‘fan girl’ at almost everything that caught my interest.
- I am an avid user of a ‘diary’. Up until now. :D
- I’m a gamer. But of course, I’m really selective on what I play. My all-time favorite game is Nintendo's Ace Attorney Series. Undisputed.
- I'm a sucker for Japanese Mangas and Korean Dramas. I'm a sucker for almost anything that caught my interest. XP
- I absolutely repel vegies - the green ones. I occasionally eat some, but I absolutely love potatoes.
- I don’t like to eat fish, but I don’t hate it. It’s just that, if given a choice, other than vegies of course, I wouldn’t choose it.
- I’m pretty RANDOM. Obviously.
There you go. These are only little things that make up who I am. Hope you'll discover more in the coming days to come. I really want to make new friends here so.. GOODLUCK TO ME. I'm hoping to have a really good time here.