To tell you honestly, Accounting is not really my first choice. It has never been. I can still recall my silly childhood. My father was an engineer, so as a little girl, I grew up surrounded by scattered markers, highlighter, sign pens, pencils, and coloring materials. Even then, I loved to draw. So when I was first asked what I wanted to be, my first real answer was to be a fashion designer. Haha. I know – it’s silly. Those memories still haven’t failed to make me smile every now and then. Actually, almost more than half of my life being a student, I’ve never really given much thought as to what I wanna be. But then high school came. I unexpectedly entered into a Special Science Curriculum and it has given me so many opportunities to discover myself, my interest, and what I really want to do in life. We had Research classes and the instant we tried to make a paper; I knew what I really want out of my academic life. I don’t know what’s with me – but I really loved that feeling. It’s something that I always wanna feel. That feeling when you’re in front of the panel defending your study, they’re asking questions, and you know how and what to answer all of them. It has become an obsession. I started competing inside the school first, then outside. Maybe my attachment with my then-research teacher somehow boosted my ego too. Since I’m always on fire whenever we’re on a panel defense, I began to study public speaking. I bought a book, and my father saw it, and he suggested I take Political Science. Things were going smoothly at first, I have my focus on that goal... and then it went downhill from there. A failure at the university I was sooo looking forward to study in, plus a broken relationship... things happened and I just found myself taking up the entrance exam in my current school with Accountancy as my first choice.
At first, I was really doubtful on where this is all going. I got my first full scholarship in my first semester but I know I haven’t been really working wholeheartedly on it. That semester just passed like a blur. I’m adjusting myself in the whole new world that is College, plus the fact that I’m getting over my first break-up alone with no friends to really talk about it too. Things have piled up unexpectedly, and I just concentrated in my study to somehow brush off all of this thoughts. I started taking up major subjects in the next semester, and I started to feel the pressure of my course. I guess I just got too attached with my friends back then that I don’t want to be away from them because of the stupid fact that I don’t really like my course that much... so I strived harder. But as time goes by, it’s not just about the thought of being separated with my friends that’s driving me to push through anymore, but I think part of me is starting to feel that it’s also necessary for myself. It’s somehow strange but the harder things get, the more you want to strive for it. I don’t know, but based on my experience, I think I’m the kind of person who gets more determined to go on when things gets tougher.
When the review season of our batch’s Qualifying exam came, I was surprised at the realization of how I became attached to this course. I found myself crying while reviewing when I feel that there’s no chance of passing, but as I feel these things, I started to work harder and harder. It came to a point that whatever I’m doing, I find myself searching for my books. When I woke up, the first thing I’m searching are my books, contrary to what I’m always doing: opening the computer or searching for my cell phone. I almost broke my communication with the outside world for almost 2 months just to review, review, and review.
One of the few things that I cherish in life.
I always look at it whenever things get hard, and it always make me smile and remember why I’m still holding on in the first place.
Surprisingly, the exam just passed by. And eventually, I passed it and went on 8th place. I actually can’t recall a much happier moment in my life. It’s like winning in the lottery -- like it’s everything you’ve wanted all your life, and then it suddenly happened. I know I’m exaggerating when I put it like that, but nothing compares to the feeling when you accomplished something all by yourself when you work really hard for it. It’s like every little frustrations in life was gone, it was like everything went finally perfect in life. It’s even a greater, much happier feeling when I got my first boyfriend. Haha.
“At that age, it’s more delightful and fulfilling to finish a degree than to fall in love.”– Ma’am Rowie Cariaga (My high school Math teacherJ)
I’m on my fourth year now, with 1 more year to endure before I take the board exam. It’s hard, but I’m still striving to keep up. I know what I wanted to do – graduate in the university (with flying colors if God permits it), pass the board exam, be a CPA, and go to Law school if I can, or be a Researcher. I already set up my goal. This way, I’ll keep my eyes on my dreams.
I know this post is getting really, really long but my point is people should not point out their dislike for something as the reason why they fail. When you fail at something, you have no one to blame but yourself. It’s not about the fondness you have in something that lets you succeed. It’s striving to do good even if you don’t like what you’re doing. To do what you can, your best –being committed -- in everything you do. Life is imperfect; it does not give us everything we want to have. Things don’t always go the way we want them to be. You must enjoy the things you like, but find a way to finish things that you find challenging even if it’s hard. I’m not an authority here, but I believe that if you would keep that kind of attitude, you would eventually succeed. Be motivated. Persevere. Be determined. No matter how many obstacles come in the way, you must overcome them to achieve your goal. Then, and only then, could you claim true success.