Sometimes, I think I was so indifferent my whole life that it somehow took the best of me. I mean, yeah, I’ve been expressive often bordering to too much emotion and sensitivity in my writings (you can see it in my book reflections, I guess), but it was completely opposite in real life.
I was too flat to function – and that was a fact.
I guess I might have been too used to faking it that I ended up feeling that it was the most natural thing for me to do. My reactions were almost too made up that sometimes, I felt that the way I react to people was already laid down in absolute detail and all I needed to do was refer to it and I’d absolutely know what to do. Those moments where you feel that like life is scripted and you just have to act all according to what was written – that sort of feeling.