Wednesday, May 30, 2012

And so, another semester begins...

Thinking back, it is as if it has been eons since I last concern myself with anything school-related. All the summer break's doing to me is lag up my mind. LOL.

But today... it's another story. It's May 30th. Another day to go, and it will be June. And then, the school season begins again. I'm not really sure what I feel about that. There are times when I just got tired of my everyday routine during vacation that I somehow find myself wishing the days would go faster and fly so that the school commences again. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a school-person. You know those kind of people who likes to go to school more than they want to stay at home? That's basically me in a nutshell. Haha. Majority of my friends are in school with me, and majority of what I always do and what I only knew in life are from school. When I imagine the tons of school works, all the all-nighters, all the papers, all the sacrifices to be done, I change my mind right back and just wish that time would stop so I would be in vacation forever. LOL.

I'm 20. A 5th year BS Accountancy student. This is supposed to be my last year in class. I can feel the relief of how short the distance between now and graduating -- where all the hard work will be recognized and be worth it. But at times, this just felt kinda sad.

This is my source of motivation through life, but it is also where my most destructive insecurities come from. Even though school is my everything, at some point or another, it just has to end, right?

This is just a post of how my day went, but it's getting emotional more than I intend to... Haha. Whatever. And so:

(Taken with instagram)
I went to school today for the pre-registration process. And when I filled up that form, and I wrote "5th year" it just hit me that this would be the second to the last time that I would be filling up this form. Crap.I'm getting older and older even if I don't want to. XD 

My grades were fine from last sem. Though that fine was not really what I was aiming for. Because before that sem began, I promised myself that I was gonna work harder and earn that academic scholarship. I started out strong, but halfway through it, I began to lose my motivation. ;( It was sad. Not only did I do well, but I also let myself down. (That's the reason for all these distraction I've been putting myself up to this summer) I don't want to make excuses - but I really had a bad start this 2012, with problems piling up before my eyes. But that wasn't supposed to give me the right to not do good in my studies. Even if I know that that's not the case, I still give in to the stress that those problems have given me -- in the end, it's all my fault for screwing up  bad.

Through reading books and mangas, and watching animes, movies and tv series, and probably just doing whatever I want during the break, I coped with that stress. And after long, I got over it. But another thing just come up, and my fucked up pride screwed me again. Tsk.

(This is getting to be a really personal post, I can see that.) *sigh*

I just find out that I am one of the very few (as in few, believe me) that didn't get an academic scholarship this time. And that's where my confidence fell short.  I know that it's not such a big deal, but that just magnified my mistakes during this sem. What can I do when I know that I've worked really hard, and still not get the results I wanted. Tsk, expectations really suck. I tried to act cool, but deep inside, I hated myself for that.

But here's the great thing that happened to day: Just when everything seems to fall apart, my friends came and saved the day. Haha. Yeah, like Superman.

See, due to schedule conflicts... we haven't really got the chance to get together for real during that 6 months. But today... it was pure bliss.

We joked. We laughed so hard I almost died. Haha. We ate and ate. We just talked non-stop. And magically, every little negative thing just faded away. Amazing friends bring amazing joy. They just made my day. :))

(Taken with instagram)
One of our friend is scheduled to have his Proposal defense today, and we stick with him. After that, we hang out, ate some Ice cream (I'm really craving sweets that time), talked, joked, laughed again.. and gone home. That, just like that. And they made it a pretty happy one.

I really did miss them. And us doing this together. I hope opportunities like this happen more often, because they sure are fun. :))

ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

I just changed my hairstyle last Monday. From this to THIS: 

(Taken with instagram)
Straight hair with full bangs. Lol. I somehow think my head looked like an egg or something.
I'm not really comfortable with my hair so flat like that, but I liked it all the same.
LOL. I am even making myself confused with what I say. XD
Yep, I know. I change my hairstyle as often as the sem changes, haha, sometimes, even more frequently. I don't know, I just can't stick too long to something. Y'know, my attention-span is very short so I tend to lose interest in things quite quickly. :P

Here's another mug shot of me in which my nose and my eyebags are pretty emphasized. LOL. I looked silly in this one, but I just had to post it. Hehe, I love this pic.

(Taken with instagram)
Creepy-chan. XD

Things to take note:

  • Next week, we'll be buying new set of books for this semester.
  • AND next week, we'll be paying up the reservation for the Review Center we're going to enroll to next year. Kyaah! Can you believe it? All this will soon be over. I will be taking up the BOARD EXAM already! I'm pretty nervous. And everything just felt surreal. When we were still in third year, I remember us (my friends/classmates) talking about how we would soon graduate and that image is now getting closer and coser to reality now. :))

xxxxx

Yeah, I tend to blabber like that. Hehe, i sincerely apologize for this long and messy post. LOL.

xoxo,
Riza

2 comments:

  1. aww it's your last year na!! goodluck!!! :)

    join my giveaway here:
    http://dressmeupbuttercup.tumblr.com/post/24318805475/elf-smokey-eye-set-giveaway

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha. thanks.. :))

      i already joined na.. hope I could win.. :))

      Delete

Thanks for dropping by! I'd love to hear from you -- so don't think twice, just comment below and let's talk! If you're feeling like it, you could also link up and I'll make sure to visit your site if you have one. Much love, ~ R. :)

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...