I was almost half-way through the book, I think. And just when things are going on smoothly, a conversation in a chapter caught my attention. I know only few, or even none, could relate to me in this matter but I am posting this anyway because emotions are welling up inside me and I can't share my thoughts to someone who would understand me since I only knew a few who are familiar with the ASOIAF series or better yet those who are reading the books.
So here goes... an excerpt of one of Arya's POV chapter in A Feast for Crows:
"Death is not the worst thing," the kindly man replied. "It is His gift to us, an end to want and pain. On the day that we are born the Many-Faced God sends each of us a dark angel to walk through life beside us. When our sins and our sufferings grow too great to be borne, the angels take us by the hand to lead us to the nightlands, where the stars burn ever bright. Those who come to drink from the black cup are looking for their angels. If they are afraid, the candles soothe them. When you smell our candles burning, what does it make you think of, my child?
Winterfell, she might have said. I smell snow and smoke and pine needles. I smell the stables. I smell Hodor laughing, and Jon and Robb battling in the yard, and Sansa singing about some stupid lady fair. I smell the crypts where the stone king sits, I smell hot bread baking, I smell the godswood. I smell my wolf, I smell her fur, almost as if she were still beside me. "I don't smell anything," she said, to see what he would say.
"You lie," he said, "but you may keep your secrets if you wish, Arya of House Stark."
~ A Feast for Crows (A Song of Ice and Fire, #4) by George R.R. MartinFor some reason, this just makes me sad. Arya has always been a fan favorite, and though I don't favor her as much as I favor other characters (i.e. Tyrion and Jaime), she has seriously grown on me. She is a developing character, and her chapters were anything but boring. And throughout the series, I am utterly amazed on how, at such young age (9?), she could handle everything that the world and the game of thrones has thrown on her. She has always been tough, and I applaud her for that. She seldom reveals her sensitive side, and is much much knowledgeable... way beyond her years. But when she becomes nostalgic like this, it always makes me cry. Especially here. So much has happened, and the thoughts she bore of Winterfell seems like long ago. The happy picture of her family, of the place where she and her siblings have grown into, seems so far away. And I know she misses it, more than she shows. I wonder if everything would be right again.