Friday, May 24, 2013

Moving Out?

Well, just temporarily. :D

We've been quite busy packing my things and checking if I got all I need in place because I'll be leaving our house to stay in a boarding house near the review center in which I'm enrolled at. See... my formal review sessions would finally start on May 28 (!!!), which means I only have at least 3 days to set my affairs in order . It's basically 1 and a half hour from our home, but with the heavy traffic and stuff, commuting would be really tiresome.

To be honest, I'm quite nervous. It may seem strange because for the whole 5 years of my college life, I was so used to living on my own, away from my family. I was living in the school dormitory all throughout, and my environment has always been like this:

no filter, and no edit
...it was always so cool, roomy, and bright. My school was situated in the upland part of our province so everything was just so simple -- it was not hard to adjust myself with everything. (I'll definitely miss it.)


But now, it's Manila. It's THE city. Well, it's not exactly that bad...but with the environment I've gotten myself so used to...there would be a really drastic change in everything. The roads would be smaller, streets more populated....and the air would not seem fresher because of more vehicles. It may take a while before I get used to it, but I wish I'll enjoy all the figuring out that're waiting for me there. :)

On a slightly darker note...
Look at the pile of books waiting for me to open them:


I feel nauseous just looking at them. Haha. Those are the piles of books that I'm gonna bury my face into for the next 4 months or so. I basically wasted almost 2 months worth of free time because I haven't touched any of them. Instead, I just immersed myself with a series of books, films, and other TV shows. It feels like I've relaxed and enjoyed myself too much. It kinda made me feel guilty but there's no sense in crying over spilled milk... so I just need to concentrate on what's important on the days to come.

In a perfect world with a perfect me, that's exactly what I would do, but you know how it goes...focus don't always come easy especially to those whose minds always tend to wander on fandoms, books, and other nerdy stuffs like that. But still, I need to try harder. That's all there is... the effort of trying, right?

That goes to say that I will stop or try to avoid (as much as possible) the less important things in my life that's been eating up my time -- which also means that I won't have that much time to blog in the coming days as much as I did in the past. There, I said it. There may be occasional posts about stuff, but please don't expect me to post too often. And I hope that not all of you would leave me by the time I get the hang of things and start blogging regularly again. I hope you'll understand.

The actual board exam would start on October 5 &6 for the first part, and October 12 & 13 for the last. Until then, please pray for me. I'll be praying for all of you too, my dear readers. Wish me luck! :)

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Casting Calls: Hazel has found her Gus!



John Green's latest  heart/ground-breaking YA novel, The Fault in our Stars, is turning into a film, as you all know...and the question is: who will play our beloved characters that seem to hop right out of the pages and drill themselves in our hearts?

It's official, guys! Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters has finally been cast. It's none other than Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort, respectively.

Shailene signed in for the role first after auditioning for the part...and after much deliberation, Ansel followed.

I won't comment on the looks, because we all know that Hollywood can do wonders that we can't even begin to fathom. And I strongly believe that it's the protrayal, the acting, that carries the character and not the looks (as evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence's stunning portrayal of Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games movie). Before anyone criticize the choice, let us absorb the fact that they are chosen for a reason and the people behind these choices are individuals that worked in the industry far longer than anyone of us ever would and that they are in a close working relation to the creator himself, John Green. If anyone should have a say in this, it would definitely the author. And if John Green approves, I do to. No complanin'.

Not satisfied? Click here. (Go ahead, click on and see another level of awesomeness unravel.)

On a side note, Shailene would be playing Mary Jane in the recent adaptation of Spiderman, and oh, as the lead female in Divergent (which #loseralert I still haven't read), in which Ansel will be playing his brother. If somehow it feels like it will just get kinda mixed up, don't worry for I'm sure these things will sort themselves out.

I don't feel anything but excitement and thrill for the upcoming adaptation  In the meantime, just DFTBA! :)

How do you feel about this development? Comment up and let's talk! :)

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

A book understands.

You know those wee hours in the night when you particularly feel overwhelmed by everything? Those moments when you suddenly feel lonely and you don't know why?

I was somehow having that kind of episode when Nina LaCour's Hold Still came to mind. So I decided to search for the book that I almost forgot existed in my shelf -- turns out I misplaced it so I didn't see it that often.

Hold Still basically revolved around the friendship of two girls named Caitlyn and Ingrid, and is a book that really stayed with me long after I finished reading it. They have this amazing bond, that when Ingrid took her life, Caitlyn was deeply shaken by it. No suicide note, no goodbyes, just the glaring fact that she no longer have the one person who knows and understands her inside out. Things were going downhill, when one day she found Ingrid's well-kept journal under her bed. She started reading it, and begins to understand the inner workings of her best friend's mind that is still much of an enigma to her no matter how close they've become.

Ingrid was clinically depressed and as much as she tried to be normal around Caitlyn, everything haunts her when she's all alone. This has been her one true breather of everything that's been bothering her that she can't even tell her best friend. If you would ask me, reading through her journal was the best part of reading through LaCour's book.

Well, so much for introductions. 

The thing is... I've been feeling a bit shitty about myself these past few days, and there has been a sudden drop of self-esteem going on. I was feeling quite alone, and I don't really have someone to talk to about it and I got this feeling that no one would really understand. So you can only imagine how annoying my days can get.

I'm not clinically depressed, of course -- I just get very lonely sometimes and I need to vent it out. And when I can't, a series of frustrations and stuff happen. Not to be morbid, but I can really relate to Ingrid when I'm having these episodes. The way things can get so confusing, and you are looking for reasons when there's actually none. How sometimes, sadness can be so heavy a burden that you can't get away from it. How sometimes even laughing your heart out hurts so you can't really do anything about it.

I don't really want someone to tell me everything's gonna be alright now because you know, when you're the one in this situation, you feel that there's nothing beyond and all you know is the present and you're actually miserable at the moment. There are time when you just want to soak in all the shittiness of life and find someone, something, that understands. That can mirror what you feel with great clarity. 


And when you see that, it actually makes you feel a little better if not totally alright.

Reading is as much an expression of yourself as writing, I believe. You read what you feel. You read what you relate to. And for those of us who feel this way and can't seem to properly form a coherent view of what we're feeling, it's a really nice thing to see a book character struggling through whatever you're undergoing right now, too. It felt like someone you don't really know understands, and that in itself is a comforting thought. The things I cannot say, the things that I can't figure out -- they can. Isn't it awesome?

Sometimes when you're going through a lot, it pays to just pick up the book that you really relate to at the moment. It may not be as concrete as others prefer, but it is really a comforting feeling to just read away and feel that somebody understands without even explaining yourself in the first place. Right?

or so they say...

xxx
Have you ever experienced this kind of thing? Feel free to comment up and let's talk!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Movie: The Great Gatsby (2013)

I happen to have found a companion (a big "Yey!" for me) and, at last, watched The Great Gatsby last Saturday. I don't usually do review posts for movies that I watched at the actual theater at their actual showing date, but after my last post, I suppose you're expecting me to post a review.

Before starting this, I just want to make it clear that I read the book beforehand, and I can't assure that I would strictly look at it as a film and separate it from the fact that it is, indeed, an adaptation. Even though I read Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby rather in a haste, there are still things that the book got through to me. Well, here it is, crappy and emotion-filled as it is.

"I wish I'd done everything on earth with you..."

Well for a start, I didn't say I'm a Baz Luhrmann fan. I think I may sound like I am, but truly I'm not. I don't hate his works, but I don't exactly love them either. I just said it is interesting, and its is - really. Moulin Rouge was good (I'm biased on the last parts), but bleh, not exactly my taste of grand. Some scenes were too corny for my own liking, and some have awkward execution that it felt weird watching them. I was never a fan of his transitions which is weird for me, because they take me by surprise (especially from heavy to comedic) and not in a good way.

I thought that awkward part of his work would be absent in this adaptation, but boy is it still present. Well, not more than MG, but it is still definitely present. I mean transitioning from the 'depressed' Nick to a more sunny version of himself at the start of the narrative? I understand that's what they're trying to convey, but... This is just my opinion, but they could've done it better. Though most of it's parts are awesome, I just couldn't get my mind off that glaring fault (to my eyes). >.<

I loved the party scenes, those in themselves are spectacles and I think no one could've done it better. The book described it to be lavish and so so, and they gave justice to that. But I felt that they've concentrated so much on this in the marketing of the film that when people go to the cinemas to watch the real thing, their expectations would be so high, it would be hard to reach. I mean the parties are only visible on the first part of the film, and the latter part concentrated on drama so I have the sense of imbalance in it. Plus that glaring hip-hop songs whenever the parties came on. I'm not a fan of hip-hop (ever) so it really irked me off whenever I hear them. I mean, hip-hop and 1920's? They just don't jive. I know they're trying to give it a modern feel but they could've chosen other genre with a modern twist in it (hello, modern jazz. haha, biased girl right here). No offense to HipHop, but it's just that it's not really my cup of tea.

"...these things excite me so"

But enough of the bad stuff... the truth is I liked the film. Despite these flaws, it was still a good movie for me because it kept me engaged. I have a short span of attention but it kept me glued. I mean the production is so grandiose, I am left in awe. The clothes, and the jewelries! Daisy's specially. I love how they made use of the music (the above is an exception) with my favorites in the movie's soundtrack used strategically and perfectly to create the ambiance or to emphasize a message. And I definitely loved how they made use of Lana's Young and Beautiful throughout the film.

I was a little unsure if Leonardo DiCaprio would deliver as Gatsby, but boy, he did! I especially loved that angry scene with Joel Edgerton -- the intensity of it all, the desperation, that one time that he let his walls down and expose the vulnerability. So.much.raw.emotions! Plus that part when he was talking to Nick and he is somewhat saying that Daisy would call. That look on his face that shows he's trying to convince himself that everything is still alright even though something inside him screams that it's all over. It broke my heart. I loved him (his performance) in here more than any other film I'd seen him in.

As expected, Carey Mulligan fit Daisy as a glove. She goes right through her, nothing less nothing more. So perfect for the role. I thought that Carey playing her would make her a little bit pleasant in my eyes, but no, not even the charms of Carey could make me hate her less. She's the solid embodiment of the woman that I totally don't want to be. Weak. Driven by emotions. Can't decide on herself, and does not truly know what she wants until it's too late. And tend to choose where it would suit her (well, real life wise, this is indeed practical). I think one of the main reasons why Gatsby didn't appeal that much to me when I read it was because it has a really weak female protagonist, character-wise. If there's anything that Carey did, well, it's to make Daisy seem more human than I imagined her to be. Impeccable acting as always.

Edgerton is in every sense Tom. And Isla is, well, Myrtle. Elizabeth Debicki stole the show as Jordan. She's not exactly how I imagined her, but I really find myself drawn to her whenever she's onscreen - so gorgeous and I love her take in Jordan.

As for Tobey Maguire, well, I'm not an actual fan to begin with. And his character as Nick didn't provide him much material to explore with since Nick is first and foremost a spectator. He's an excellent narrator but I can' stop picturing the Spider Man suit in him all those time. Haha. When Daisy and Nick danced at Gatsby's house, I was like Spiderman mode on and I was remembering that scene from Spiderman 3 where he danced at the disco with Gwen. Lol. But Tobey did gave a decent performance. It's just me that's screwed up. XD 

Lol at this scene. >.<
If there's one thing that really set this adaptation from the others, it's the framing. Nick being morbidly alcoholic and other things made sense and it was a clever move to emphasize that the story is told in his voice, his perspective. I love those parts where somehow Fitzgerald's words are flashing and fading in and out in the screen as the narration continued on. It helped Luhrmann to accomplish the hard task of making a film out of a book that is mainly told through a first person narrator.

Few scenes were cut from the book, especially that funeral scene which was somehow replaced by a number of paparazzi going on and about Gatsby's coffin. It was such a waste because that scene was where I truly felt how Gatsby was so alone and all so superficial, that almost no one came to visit even though every one is going in his parties and wants to meet him when he was alive. It's just hard to realize that people leave and sometimes they leave you when you need them the most.

When you say a book is a classic, even though it has been written and published for quite a while already, the themes and lessons still applies now -- and for that, I can say that The Great Gatsby is truly one hell of a classic (not that it isn't). Sometimes, you build all these pretense as an effort just to get people to like you. No matter how hard you try, you cannot change the past and the best course of action is just to accept it. Sometimes you want to have everything and along the way, you just have to learn to you can't and the world will teach you that sad truth, sometimes the hard way. And to top it off, there would always be people who would only come to you when they need you and come running from you as fast as they appear when they don't anymore. Such sad realities, but they're are as much true as those bright things we experience that we try to remind ourselves everyday -- so we must accept them into our lives and learn and remember them so that we won't go expecting that life is all rainbows and butterflies.

I won't give it a perfect five, but this is still a must-watch. Do give it a try while it lasts. :))

Note: Unlike people who have their true blue mandatory literature classes, reading The Great Gatsby has not been that popular here in the PH because it's not a required reading material. So for a short blurb people, I found this really informative character map :) :

Source
ENJOY! :)

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Book: Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks

Goodreads Plot:
Thrown to the waves, and to fate, the bottle could have ended up anywhere. Instead, it is found just three weeks after it begins its journey. Theresa Osborne, divorced and the mother of a twelve-year-old son, discovers it during a seaside vacation from her job as a Boston newspaper columnist. Inside is a letter that opens with, "My Dearest Catherine, I miss you my darling, as I always do, but today is particularly hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together...." For Garrett, the message is the only way he knows to express his undying love for a woman he has lost. For Theresa, wary of romance since her husband shattered her trust, the message raises questions that intrigue her. Challenged by the mystery, and driven to find Garrett by emotions she does not fully understand, Theresa begins a search that takes her to a sunlit coastal town and an unexpected confrontation. Brought together either by chance or something more powerful, Theresa and Garrett's lives come together in a tale that resonates with our deepest hopes for finding everlasting love. Shimmering with suspense and emotional intensity, Message in a Bottle takes readers on a hunt for the truth about a man and his memories, and about both the heartbreaking fragility and enormous strength of love. For those who cherished The Notebook and readers waiting to discover the magic of Nicholas Sparks's storytelling, here is an achingly lovely novel of happenstance, desire, and the choices that matter most. [source]


For just a moment she wanted to take everything back. She wanted to tell him that she didn’t mean what she had said, that she still loved him, that it shouldn’t end this way. It would be easy to do that, it would feel so right — But no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t force herself to say the words.

This novel was second to the series of spectacular love stories that Nicholas Sparks has brought to us. But among those, this was certainly the most tragic. So much raw, unsaid emotions. It shows how two person, so deeply damaged by love so deep, can be together and how heir love, no matter how strong, can be broken. First chapter, and I found myself finding it hard to contain my emotions and struggle not to cry. For some reasons, I’m relating to Theresa’s character more than I could imagine. The parts where regret and pain are mostly present, I treasured those moments the most. This is a certain tear-jerker.

Laid-back Mode

Hurray for my first Polyvore coordinate! I've been dying to do one for myself but this is just the first time that I had the actual time and attention to visit this amazing site and play with it.

Here's what I came up with:

Laid-back Mode

Laid-back Mode by rzzzp featuring pointed flat shoes

If you're saying "what a bore!" now, well, I don't care because I've been obsessed with black and white thingies ever since I can remember.My wardrobe is almost 60% made up of that color because 1) they're very wearable, 2) they're a classic, and 3) they easily go with absolutely anything!

This ensemble reminded me of EMODA, a Japanese brand, a lot and is one of the first stores to champion the Mode-style. What is Mode-style? Here's a brief snippet from Cheesie (one of my favorite bloggers, which is basically the one who introduced the term and got me addicted to it in the first place):
"It derives from the french word “mode”, which pretty much means fashion/style. But in Japanese it means “high fashion”, and it focuses on simplicity, silhouette and bold designs and one of it’s most distinct characteristics is being monotone (mostly black and white)."
 So that "mode" up there does not only mean "channeling that look". :)

This is something that I definitely would want to wear. I hope someday, I can have the courage to go about the day wearing these. :)

Since I got the hang of it, better expect this kind of post in the coming days. And oh, you can follow me at Polyvore here (of course, the usual username: rzzzp)

Book: Soul Stealer (The Alchemist's Son, #2) by Martin Booth

A quick cross-posted review from my Tumblr.


Goodreads Plot:
In this sequel to "Doctor Illuminatus," siblings Pip and Tim once again come to the aid of Sebastian--a medieval alchemist's son who has awakened from a centuries-long slumber--when Sebastian faces a terrifying evil. [source]

Soul Stealer is the second installment of Martin Booth’s The Alchemist Son series. It accounts the adventures of Pip and Tim together with Sebastian, a 15th century-born whose father is a notable alchemist, as they try to stop the people that targets to use alchemy with evil intent following their summer quest in Doctor Illuminatus, the 1st installment of the series.

Since it’s been years now since I last read Doctor Illuminatus, I can’t really remember the notable features of the story plot besides the fact that they (Pip and Tim) befriended a 15th century-boy who was sleeping (literally) all along in a secret chamber in their newly bought house and how they defended themselves against  Malodor, an alchemist who is in pursuit of perfecting the art of creating a homonculus. But what I can clearly remember was  how fun it is to read the last book. And this feature isn't absent in this sequel at all. All the facts are carefully researched, the exhibition of wittiness and cleverness of the characters at the same time were really entertaining, and the action was not that fast-paced but pretty good. I always find it really fascinating how the three main characters think very fast when trapped in an inescapable circumstance.

This book as well as its prequel (Doctor Illuminatus) kinda reminded of The Alchemyst: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Micheal Scott that  I’ve read last year. The same elements as with almost all of the alchemy-related books that I’ve read so far. But still, this is a good book if you want to spend you free time reading one. Very light, but full of thrills. 3 stars.

It's supposed to be part of a trilogy but Booth died of cancer before he even finish the third book. It's a shame the last installment won't ever see the light of the day and we won't know the ending of this tale. It's a real bummer really, but I hope some author picks up the story and finish it at least. #wishfulthinking

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Gatsby? What Gatsby?

With Gatsby's overseas premiere, so much reviews have been published all around the web and they're all keeping me pumped up and excited to watch the movie too. Mark the date, folks! The Great Gatsby is showing here in the Philippines starting May 17th. *grins wide*


All these advertisements really sparked some interest. And the production is so grand, extravagant, if you know what I mean -- really reflects the 1920's vibe that Fitzgerald embedded in his book. From the couture, to the accessories, everything screams and hits you in the face. This is a pretty interesting adaptation, from the looks of it. I've seen Romeo + Juliet! and Moulin Rouge, both Baz Luhrmann creations and I am expecting no less!



Plus, I must admit that the thing that attracted me most and kept me really excited is the cast! All-star if you'll ask me.And though I'm not in the position to judge the casting strictly from the book -- I'd say they nailed it from the vibe (not strictly physical) that I've got since I read The Great Gatsby last year. Middle-aged DiCaprio is looking so awesome with that amazing tan and all those lines, I complain no more. And Joel Edgerton as Tom -- the feels!


And must I forget -- the character that they nailed the most: Daisy Buchanan. It's no secret that I've been a Carey Mulligan fan ever since I saw Never Let Me Go. I've always imagined Carey to be Daisy -- and there they go, fulfilling my wish. I don't care if I hate Daisy Buchanan, the fact that Carey Mulligan plays her is enough for me to love her even despite all the stupidity and selfishness of her character (my opinion only). That voice of hers! Carey is sooo perf for Daisy.

THIS.
Plus, the soundtrack! It got Lana Del Rey and Gotye, need I ask for more? :3

Don't forget to catch it, guys! It'll be an amazing feast in the eyes. 
I still don't have someone to accompany me on Friday, but whatever, I can go for another date with myself. XD

And oh, another #guiltypleasure song. Haha. Not in the soundtrack, but in one of the trailer. I lurve this cover!

Movie: Never Let Me Go (2005)

Haven't posted about a movie in eons! Well, here's a cross post of a review fangirling post I made almost a year ago about a film that I randomly encountered, and enjoyed thoroughly. My roommates may never understand why I liked this film so much, but this will always hold a special place in my nerdy heart. :3


This movie is overly depressing. The mental stress I’ve gone through all through out the whole run of the movie is pretty crazy. It depicts people who are only living their lives to be a donor, to save lives — and yet, they get no recognition or anything ands they’re treated as if they’re not as human at all, as human as the lives they preserve. But what moves me more was the exceedingly tragic love of Cathy and Tommy. And how Ruth flawlessly resigns and realizes what she’s done to the two of them.

Carey Mulligan was a genius. I mean seriously, she’s able to express the full emotions of Cathy — seems neutral on the outside, but in the inside, she is going crazy with the magnitude of the conflicting feelings of hurt: of seeing her love love another and the feeling of betrayal by her friend. I can tell, merely by looking at her face. And she’s making me cry by merely looking at her expression. Such an amazing cast. Same goes to Andrew Garfield and Keira Knightley. This movie was such a treat.

It's from a book of the same name, by Kazuo Ishiguro. I kinda violated my pledge to read the book before watching the movie, but hey, I only found out there was a book right after I watched it. Definitely adding it to my TBR list. Excited to read it! :3

Book: Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2) by Suzanne Collins

source
Cross-posting this short review from my Tumblr because the second Hunger Games movie is nearing its release. :)


Catching Fire is the second installment of the Hunger Games trilogy.

An action-packed book. This book showcased the nation of Panem under the cruel hands of the Capitol through the eyes of a sixteen-year old Katniss Everdeen, who after winning the 74th Hunger Games together with fellow tribute Peeta Mellark, found herself inside the Games once more for the Quarter Quell (75th Hunger Games).


Goodreads Plot:
Katniss is the spark to a revolution, and the Capitol wants revenge. She won the Hunger Games and returns alive with District 12 Tribute partner Peeta. But he and longtime friend Gale both reject her. On their Victory Tour of all the districts, locals riot but the winning duo must appear lost in their love.

Literally sent me gasping and my jaw dropping while I was like “What?” several times in the Book. The Games became tougher than before. Full of surprising turn of events, never a dull moment. The book took a deeper look on existing characters from book one, particularly Gale whose relationship with Katniss became clearer throughout the plot, and also presented new characters which are as fascinating as the ones on the first installment (ehem, Finnick Odair, ehem). The second book did justice to the first one. Suzanne Collins did an amazing job.

Friday, May 10, 2013

There comes a time in a girl’s life when she goes totally nuts with the Twilight series.

[WARNING: Unpopular opinion. So don’t bother reading if you’re not open-minded enough.]


I admit. I pretty much went through that phase where I’m going gaga over the whole Bella x Edward business. Honestly, my favorite in the series was ‘New Moon’ which was supposedly the gloomiest of the four. Until I figured out everything. I moved on. But hey, it’s just normal. It’s not a crime to like the Twilight series. The reason teenagers really loved the book was because they could relate to it. I honestly think that one of the most exciting part of being a teen was falling in love and experiencing it for the first time. The joy, the pain, the longing for that someone. It’s pretty understandable that people want to have something that could clearly embody what they can’t express themselves — through words. And that’s what Meyer provided us.

Whether Bella is just acting too lovesick or not, or whether all four books in the series just centers to the two of them, it doesn’t really matter. Besides, it’s a love story anyway. And it’s supposed to be about love. Whether the whole point is far too blatant, or there are certain grammatical errors that the writer overlooked. it’s still a book. And there’s a reason why the publishers approved of it.

I’ve come to a point where I just grew tired of all the bashing in the series that I, myself, once enjoyed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a proud Harry Potter/J.K. Rowling fan. But there’s a point where fans were getting way too far. Who ever said that the Twilight saga is competing with the Harry Potter series? No one. So let’s respect Meyer, because she is a writer who only hopes to deliver good things through her books to her readers.

For me, the best thing about reading is that I find a way to express myself. The things that I cannot figure out myself, the fictional characters do. The best moments I’ve had while reading a book was when I can find characters and moments which I can relate to. And, the twilight saga kinda gave me that.

It’s the normal thing. Just like with any other book. You read it. Appreciate the beauty of it. Move on. Comes another book to read. And the process just repeats over and over. But it leaves a mark on you and you learn something new from it. That’s the beauty of reading. 


Thursday, May 9, 2013

Till next year.

Okay. Decent, complete family picture: UNLOCKED! :3

Mama, ME, Jaypee, Jason, Joshua, Rachelle, Papa, Rica. 

After years of trying to come up with a picture where we're all present, we successfully posed for one.

Papa only comes home for a month each year so we really had a hard time doing this. We had a dinner feast last Sunday, after mass, as some sort of a despedida (farewell party) because he was set to leave again on the 8th of May.

And yeah. He already flew back to Riyadh so it's kinda weird realizing he's here just a few days ago and miles, miles away from us now.

And here's the funny thing: He almost missed his flight. He was scheduled to fly at 1:15 am, May 8th but he got confused with the date and all and thought that he'd be flying off an hour AFTER May 8th. Good thing he realized this.

God really had a strange way of working things out. And it's just another testament on how He always watch over us. :)

It was 11:00pm (May 7th), and Papa just finished eating his dinner when Mama pulled out his docs because she's searching for something. Papa glanced at his ticket ad immediately freaked out. Quickly took a bath, while everyone was packing his things. (His things weren't prepared yet, mind you)

I was so oblivious to what's happening at the house because I was at our computer shop printing some pictures to be used on my scrap book and when I got back at the house, they were all panicking. Good thing the car was there, and my uncle (who happened to be the driver) was present.

It all just went quickly. And we said goodbye so fast. We're all not really mentally ready for when he left we were all dumbfounded.

If Papa missed his flight, it would take another 4-6 months before he fix his docs and no one would finance our studies. I will surely go straight to work, not bothering to take the board. And everything would've been different.

But by God's grace, he did got in. They arrived like 12:30 am at the airport, and he was the last one to enter the plane.
God works miracles. :)

He has now safely landed at Riyadh. It was really sad letting him go, but it was necessary. We just have to make the most out of the situation, right?

Anyways, that event made me reflect on a couple of things:
How so much things depended on one person alone; and
How we fail ourselves....and the only way to get past life unscathed is to just believe and have unwavering faith to the Lord and let ourselves fully rely on Him who holds everything is His mighty hands.

It feels overwhelmingly good to feel how much you are valued by your Creator, so we must remember to always surrender our worries to Him. Promise, He'll make it go away. :3 #loved

We won't be seeing Papa for another 11 months or so but the communication is constant so it still feels like he's just there. 

Till next year, Pops! :)

Disturbance

130 days.
My formal review session is 130 days long.
And what freaks me out the most is the way that I don't freak out even though it's only days before it officially start and I haven't reviewed a single subject at all. >.<

Stacks of reading materials. Fault at the top, my FinAcc2 book below. My calculator covering some random magazine that I was leafing through a while ago.

Before my last term in college ended, I already told myself that I'll pick up those books right after the day of my graduation but I haven't done that. It seems that for days I've been so distracted that I've been in and out of that mindset -- which only made it worse because it feels that I am doing so much but never really finish anything or even start at all.

I honestly just want to know what the hell is wrong with me.

Before I go to sleep, I psyche myself that tomorrow would be the start. That I'd wake up early. And do everything as planned. (I even jotted down what to do from waking up, to taking a bath, to my daily devotion, to eating breakfast -- down to the minute.) But somehow, something always screws up the plan.

I wonder why it's so damn hard following these plans.
And I wonder why it's so hard to concentrate and motivate myself to strive harder. (It even felt like I am not trying at all.)

This is the REAL THING, and I wonder why I feel like I've exerted more effort when I was still studying at school than now when I am finally prepping up to what I've been working hard to arrive at these past five years.

I find it so incomprehensibly frustrating that I am not my usual self when the real battle is now starting. And honestly, I'm feeling too misguided and lost right now that I don't even know what to do about it.

Why is it so hard to just straight up STUDY for the board than choosing to do the meaningless routine that I've subjected myself into that seem to just lead to pointless late nights and wasted time?

Well, no ones's gonna fight this battle with myself but me -- so I guess a little more willpower will do.

Note to self: Riza, just please get your head together. FOCUS.ON.THE.GOAL.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Fault In Our Stars

I'm on a The Fault in our Stars re-reading binge these past few days due to the fact that despite my claimed attempted self-control to not buy another book up until the CPA board exam ended, I still bought one for myself when I accidentally saw that paperback edition being restocked in the shelf of my favorite bookstore when I originally planned on just getting myself a new sign pen. *exhale, too long a sentence*


So yeah, acquiring a copy despite having already read it in PDF changes everything and renewed my devotion to the book. I have literally carried it all around the house, even going as far as putting it beside my pillow whenever I sleep. *proper use of literality this time* Trust me, it's madness. 

So imagine my reaction when one random friend in Facebook posted this:



See....all my #feels just exploded.

I love the lyrics, and they totally made me cry. I admit I'm pretty dubious to interweb current events but this is the first time that I am hearing anything of sorts about this guy -- but tell you what? I already love him not just beacuse he created such a moving song  with an equally touching vid but also because he kinda (read: kinda) emanates Augustus Waters. (Ugh. There I said it.) I know the song is Hazel-ish because of the "tank" and all that but I kept picturing Augustus thinking that chorus in his head. *heartbreaking as hell*

I still haven't gotten over Laura Shigihara's Everything is Alright and Pink's Just Give Me A Reason ... and now this. This is definitely going into my playlist. As in right now.

*I've been hashtagging #feels a lot lately* o_O
Do follow me on Twitter: @rzzzp

Thursday, May 2, 2013

"We're not broken, just bent"

Okay, so I don't know if this has been released for a while now or if this is just in but I just gotta say that I'm totally digging this. Heard it in the radio a few days back and the melody is stuck in my head. So I decided to post it in my blog anyway to mark the day that a new song managed to catch my attention after so long.

This is the end of a new era. LOL. #maymasabilang

And just to say, I'm totally into lyrics vids! Just the lyrics plus the music in the spotlight. MVs are distracting, except those with true depth. :)

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Game: To the Moon (2011) by Freebird Games

Haven't talked about games on my blog for quite a while now. But this one is too good to not be shared. Despite supposedly having so much to do, I tried to play this game by my younger brother's random recommendation. And it didn't disappoint. This probably has one of the most touching stories I encountered -- books included, at that.

Below is the game trailer for To The Moon:


If you're looking for the story and content rather than gameplay -- this game is perfect for you. Operating in retro 16-bit color graphics, I'd say there is less almost none at all of the kick and adrenaline that gamers nowadays often tend to look for their purchases. But none of that matters, because what you're paying for on this one is not that but the rich, poignant, touching and very well written story embedded in this simple yet very special game. Having said that, this is definitely a breath of fresh air -- the present game market populated by mainstream games that possess pointless plots that would disappear as fast as they rose to popularity. This one stays with you. And it will break you and make you all at once.

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