Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Life Lately #02: A bookwormism update after such a long, long time.


I'm in this sort of a project right now and the very objective: to vanquish the crippling Feeling and not go to THAT dark place again -- because, in the first place, I'm not really sure if I can even afford to. So yeah, be it a coincidence or not, but I'm in this rampage of reading YA books with somewhat depressing storylines. So far, I've read the following:


And, to wrap up this month and this project as well, I'm targeting to finish these two books before October comes.

Every You, Every Me by David Levithan; Falling into Place by Amy Zhang

As THE Great Chuck Bass put it:
You know what’s even more effective? Excess. Eat anything too much and you won’t want it again. 
And I am actually believing that right here, right now.

I've been reading too fast, absorbing too much lately - I almost wonder if anything's wrong, or if I'm picking up and absorbing things the way these books are supposed to be consumed. But they're affecting me, even if its just for a moment. The books I've read, so far, were worthwhile - and can never be easily forgotten.

I've read depressing stories so much in the past few days that, more often than not, left me a little broken inside. There's just too much going on. I've been feeling uncharacteristically upbeat and bright for the longest period from what I can remember. This is the defense mechanism my weird brain came up with, I guess. "There's too much negative going on," maybe my brain thought, "we need to balance it out, or else we need to raise the red." I'm in this weird state of being happily positive, while reading negative stories and instilling depressing things in my mind. The complicated situation I am putting myself in almost makes me laugh.

I am expecting that, at the end of this, this weird feeling of wanting sad things, tragic endings and all things depressing would just go away - at least for a while. And if it did (I sure hope so), everything would just be roses and butterflies. I think I deserve that even just for a short period of time. As Theodore Finch put it and made it clear, I also do want a perfect day. And I hope it comes - it would really help.

I am planning to have a kind of Murakami reading fest this coming October, and I can't afford to have these dark, depressing thoughts while subjecting myself to the surreal. It would just be too much. The realizations won't be pretty, I can only imagine the horror.

And short or weird as this post may be, I am cutting this crap now because my battery's on critical level already and I'm too lazy to get my charger and it's past 1 in the morning, and I need to be at the office no later than 8:30 AM. So until next time, bye. ;)
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I wrote all this while listening to Ryan Adam's take on TSwift's Out of the Woods, ON LOOP. What say you? ;3

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